Professor Bio, with credits to @carr2n

Inspired by David Carr's bio that my colleague Stephen Ruf shared with me from Poynter, I'm including a version of the following in my syllabi this semester. Excerpt of David Carr's bio, per his syllabus at Boston University Your professor is a terrible singer and a decent dancer. He is a movie crier but stone-faced in real life. He never laughs even when he is actually amused. He hates suck-ups, people who treat waitresses and cab drivers poorly, and anybody who think diversity is just an academic conceit. He is a big sucker for the hard worker and is rarely dazzled by brilliance. He has little patience for people who pretend to ask questions when all they really want to do is make a speech.

My adaptation, with credits to Carr: Your professor is a terrible housekeeper and a spirited shower singer. She is not sentimental; this is not to say she is not a crier. She is dazzled by good grammar and she struggles to overlook spelling errors everywhere. She is pro separation of church and state. She has little patience for people who give their cellphones precedence over live human beings. She is a sucker for nuns, dark chocolate, Motown music. She offers a high-five to single parents, people who work with populations with autism, and people who work in the service and hospitality industries. She skeeves pickle relish. She can recite the Lord's Prayer in olde English.