What to tell them when they ask you if you have a platform

Do I have an author's platform? Am I an influencer of the masses such that my book will climb to the NYT best-sellers' list before I can even take a screenshot of my #1 position? I'll let you decide:

My Facebook statuses become cross-stitch patterns that hang in dentists' waiting rooms. Oprah's Book Club is taking a sabbatical until my book comes out. Every time I make a purchase, the NASDAQ skyrockets. The rainbow loom was just called "loom" until my YouTube video using multi-colored bands went viral. Jimmy Fallon wrote me a thank you note just for being me. Sometimes I can't keep track of all the trending hashtags I started. Reality TV called but I was busy shooting a Super Bowl commercial for my non-profit organization. I founded this non-profit when I was 14. We upcycle bottle caps to manufacture sustainable legwarmers for 1%-ers (before upcycling and legwarmers were even a thing!). All proceeds from the legwarmer sales go toward reducing unemployment among mermaids. I gave a TED talk about it and so far the talk has 3 million views, at least 1 million of whom were once unemployed mermaids who have now found meaningful careers! I wrote a screenplay about a den of unemployed mermaids called "Shelling Out." So far it has raised $50,000 on Kickstarter and we can't wait to begin filming the pilot webisode. My tumblr posts get shared before I write them. I have more Twitter followers than Lady Gaga. Every time I hiccup, someone retweets it. My blog is so popular it is causing problematic internet traffic jams. Pinterest has asked me to blog less often because they can't capacitate all the pins that my fabulous DIY photo posts generate. Suri's Burn Book can't even find something mean about me to say, I am so favored. Dr. Phil stopped asking me how this all was working out for me, because he already knew the answer.

***

Of course none of the above bears truth. I am a nobody to most Somebodies. The metrics of Somebody-dom are all the stuff of earth. They are merely a chasing after the wind.

God who is impossibly wonderful has set eternity in our hearts, and that any of us are somebody to Him is inconceivable. Only He is worthy to stand on any platform, yet He calls us with our busted rulers and ragged measuring tape worthy still. I am so glad that this nobody can be His somebody. He is everything to me.

Review: Detroit: An American Autopsy by Charlie LeDuff

Simply cannot recommend enough Detroit: An American Autopsy by Charlie LeDuff. A former NYT reporter returns to DET as a native son.

If you want to understand everything that has happened in recent years in America, Detroit is your learning lab. The ramifications of corporate greed on the middle class and abject poverty? Look at Detroit. The unintentional handover of power, from politicians who are too concerned with padding their own pockets, to the gangs that eventually rule the streets.

LeDuff's writing is at times absolutely perfect. I've been studying journalism for a fair bit and I cannot even fathom his methods. This book has easily cracked my top 10 if not my top 5.

I have visited Detroit a number of times and love catching lunch at Mugsie's in Corktown, or visiting the Science museum. There are pockets of wonderful things happening and LeDuff does not manage to highlight these as well as he could. Still, there is courage and truth mined from the stories he shares on his journalistic beat. I couldn't get enough.

I would lend you my copy but of course I bought it for Loverpants only to abscond with it :)

Greetings from Downton Madi #downton

Greetings. My name is Lady Louella. I reside at Downton Abbey, but am presently on holiday at Downton Madi, to be closer to the seaside. I am fortunate that although these quarters are modest, I do have a ladies' maid who travels with me; she assists me with all of my wardrobing. I don't know what I might do if she off and became a cleric or joined the Civil Service. Perish the thought!

My ladies' maid always knows what is in fashion for high tea; I trust her sensibilities implicitly. She isn't like other peasant folks I have encountered in the past, mucking around in their ratty britches. My ladies' maid understands couture of the highest order. Thank heavens.

We often enjoy luncheon in town. Afterwards, we will sometimes enjoy a leisurely painting session in the small studio down the lane from Downton Madi.

Although it may appear common, I do so enjoy taking an afternoon constitutional with one of the house canines. It is good sport and the fresh air is quickening to my extremities.

In the evenings, I often pen a letter to my dear cousin Trixie to inquire as to how she is getting on with so many Labour party activists vying for a patch of land from a Tory loyalist like herself. I've advised her to cease being trifled with all of that and to come visit me here at Downton Madi where she might meet a young bloke in the Royal Navy. Wouldn't that be terribly clever?

I then retire to my quarters and enjoy a long slumber with the sounds of the seaside crashing against my bonny cottage. fair Downton Madi.