I listen to podcasts. Ergo, I am an awesome human being.

I frequently listen to podcasts. I was an early adopter of This American Life, Fresh Air, Serial, The Moth, and now I am deeply involved in the Relevant Podcast, Dear Sugar and making my way through back episodes of Invisibilia. I like to talk about podcasts with other podcast enthusiasts. I think like a podcaster. I see life through the lens of podcastabilities. I celebrate podcasts and the life of a podcast devotee.

Because I listen to podcasts, here is what I want you to believe about me: - I am an open-minded person. - I am very educated. - I am supremely evolved as human beings go. - Podcasts were actually my idea. - I have a diverse set of interests and passion projects. - I participate in democracy. - I give to worthy kickstarters. - I am a close friend of Ira Glass. - Hillary Clinton calls me for political advice. - I am skeptical of certain non-governmental organizations. - I wear TOMS chiefly because of their get/give business model. - I would rent my cloak over Adnan Syed's involvement in the death of Hae Min Lee

Because I listen to podcasts, here is what I want to believe about me: - I am an open-minded person. - I am very educated. - I am pretty evolved as human beings go. - Podcasts are the kind of thing I probably would have invented if I had the time. - I have a diverse set of interests and passion projects. - I participate in democracy. - I am probably the kind of person who would give to worthy kickstarters. - I would totally be a close friend of Ira Glass if he hired me to work for TAL. - Hillary Clinton should call me for political advice. - I am one of the most skeptical people, just, in general. - I totally wear TOMS chiefly because of their get/give business model. - I consider Adnan Syed like a brother.

Because I listen to podcasts, here is the truth about me: - I am an overprivileged white woman with incredible access to high speed internet and smart phone technology that enables me to maintain a hobby of listening to nerdy-voiced people read their acts of journalism aloud. - I am not really all that special and depend on podcasts to make me sound more interesting than I am. - Cleaning my bathroom is boring and podcasts make it less insufferable.

Because I am part of a generation of people that listens to podcasts, here is the truth about what should be expected of me: - I should be more than a downloader and a binge-listener to recorded voices. - I should be as captive an audience to my family as I am to the snorty giggle of Terry Gross. - I should care about the injustice of my neighbor's busted car battery as I am about the gay brother of the Dear Sugar writer-inner. - I should curate the topics about which I educate myself instead of relying on Sarah Koenig to do so episodically for me. - I should and can and will continue to believe in the power of a story and all the stories that are never voiced, broadcast, or allowed to reach an overprivileged woman scrubbing her bathroom floor as an antidote to her own privileged boredom.