Pinterested

Pinterest, to a college student:I promised myself I wouldn't procrastinerest away my day. Oh well.

Pinterest, to a dog: All that pinning of homemade dog bones and not a single one yet baked? Pinterest, to my grandma: Somehow I managed to survive the Great Depression and a World War without Pinterest. Pinterest, to the mother in Somalia: Is there a board where you have pinned solutions to civil unrest, lack of running water, babies dying from starvation? Pinterest, to our children: I didn't really want a Pinterest-inspired birthday party. I really just wanted you to be happy and relaxed rather than stressed about a Fancy Nancy candy buffet.

Pinterest, to clothespins: I don't always need to be painted and dipped in glitter.

Pinterest, to men: Women have finally found their spectator sports equivalent, and every day is the Super Bowl.

Pinterest, to everyone who never wore a scarf before: Pinterest made me do it. Pinterest, to social scientists: Quick, someone come up with a name for what this cultural phenomenon so we can sell a book about what people already know about themselves and their insatiable appetite for all the things. Pinterest, to Crayola: Crayon genocide by hair dryers is making us very rich indeed.

Pinterest, to HGTV, TLC, Nate, Martha: This is either the best or the worst thing to ever happen to us. Pinteresters Anonymous: Hello, my name is Pinny, and I've been sober from pinning for 6 weeks.

- Kendra Stanton Lee 2012