Little Brother, Little Sister

"Mom keeps asking me if I want to talk to the baby in her belly. And to that I'm all Tina Fey, 'Shut That Down, woman!' I just think this whole 'talk to the belly baby' is silly business. There is no baby here to talk to besides my lily-white Fisher Price dolly of the perma-grin, and she doesn't have much to say in response. She'd never be mistaken for a Chatty Cathy doll, let's be honest. And maybe that is all right for me sometimes...but I do get a little restless as a Lonely Only, you know? But the whole charade over this Little Brother, Little Sister hoopla is just a little bit insane, don't you agree? We went to the ultrasound altogether, Pops, Mama and I. I saw the skeletor baby on the screen and, meh, I wasn't impressed. Whatever was in there wasn't doing much but a lot of kicking OOOH LOOK AT THE FEMUR! and after I get rebuked all day long for kicking, it all gave me pause. Who does this kid think he/she is? Getting everyone's maternity panties in a bunch over some flamboyant kicks? I'm not fooled. I've been the only act in town for almost 2 years. I've been performing for sold-out audiences. This kid is a mere amateur. If he/she thinks there is a show to steal, he/she's got another thing coming to them. 'Round here it's All Baby Girl, All the Time!"