Go ahead and say you don't have any regrets, but I know you have at least one.

If you haven't considered a litany of things already to regret about your past, I suggest you head over to dooce.com and read her entry about her "sixth birthday" as a blogstress. Dooce confesses her own Capital Regret and opens her comments section for your own contribution.

You can tell me you ain't got no regrets. You can tell me that you pull life by the hoodie strings every single day. You can tell me that you never let the bastards get you down. But I don't believe you.

We all have at least one small little weed of regret, planted deep in our hearts once upon a time. We try to stomp out the weed and keep it from sporing off into whole weedy patches. We try to fend off the weeds from entering our little gardens of helpful hindsights and proactive thoughts for the future. Sometimes our faith helps us to keep the weeds in quarantine, but until this faulty world crumbles, the weeds will always keep us looking back just a bit...

My Chief Regrets:

1.) I regret being such a snivelling, abusive wretch to my sister growing up. And for rigging the cards in Candy Land so she'd always get sent back to Plumpy in the homestretch.

2.) I regret not having more fun in high school, for not relaxing more, and not spending more time with dear friends and family. A 4.0 GPA and sundry awards and plaques have never comforted me when I have felt homesick or lost.

3.) I regret that I read so many asenine Sleepover Friends books when I was a pre-teen instead of more literary things without contrived plots. I regret that my vocabulary and spelling could be so much better because of this.

4.) I regret exacerbating the pain that likely targets in grade school experienced. I hope that they are very rich and that someone gives them a big bear hug every single day.

5.) I regret not keeping a journal during junior high. I bet it would be funny to read now.