Skating

When you grow up wearing figure skateswith only brief interludes of not owning your own pair that whole flying from the nest analogy doesn't translate so well. I've always related more to the rink of life in which you orbit round and around, clinging to the walls or an outstretched mitten but slowly building confidence and pushing out toward the center. Learning to skate, confidence builds by looking out ahead but also looking out for others. We're all supposed to be headed in the same direction Still, beware the wrong way skaters, the hockey punks. Collision is inevitable. There is no free fall on the ice; there are no boundless heights. Gravity is turned on and flight is only for the sure, the trained Because, after all, we're all still landing on a thin blade of metal. Precarious. The sound of the rink is always some muffled eighties song scraping blades cutting through Tears for Fears. Offers to couple skate Stale popcorn the Zamboni interlude. It's all object lesson. I love the rink.

*** Thank you, Loverpants, for letting me punch out for my recent solo skates. I would say that I imagine us couple skating while I am out there, but that is kind of hokey, and I am just trying not to get my hands skated over by hockey punks.

Continuation

I showed Loverpants the envelope, the standard 9" in width business envelope. My name was typed in the To: field, but it might as well been addressed to the whole Loverpants crew. There was only one folded piece of paper contained within the envelope and I reminded Loverpants that our future was contained in that one small vessel, on that one sheet of paper, the slice of processed wood. So much in this life depends upon a tree.

Nests and swings and fruit and birds and squirrels. And paper.

But I already knew what this one said, since the committee had already e-mailed me with a copy. The members awaited my affirmative response.

(To be continued...)

25 reflections on music in my life

1. i wanted to take flute lessons in the fourth grade, but the consultant from educator's music said my tiny hands would be better suited to the piccolo. i thought that instrument sounded so unromantic and clumsy that i abandoned thoughts of music lessons altogether... 2. until i was 20 at which point i paid for my own guitar lessons for a summer. that summer was highly miserable, living at home and working a telemarketing job and a corporate folksy-wannabe restaurant hostess job. strumming the guitar was an excellent meditation. until one of the instructors asked me if he could call me sometime. i was so awkward that i never went back and proceeded not to master the guitar.

3. i sat in my car in the parking lot of the grocery store tonight listening to the entirety of the carpenters' "we've only just begun." there is something so beautiful and haunting about karen carpenter's voice.

4. my favorite song in the world is peter gabriel's "in your eyes." i think its beauty and message is sacred and other worldly. i do not own it on cd or mp3, but a friend did put it on a mix tape for me in college, not knowing how i felt about it.

5. i belong to a church that is pretty arcane in terms of worship music. i know all the biblical foundations for this, but i still harbor thoughts that there might be some serious rocking out in heaven.

6. patty griffin's "rain" is one of the most poignant songs but it boasts one of the most beautiful marriages of lyric and music.

7. i think it's annoying and contrived when artists make their first big splash on the charts because of a strategically placed song on "grey's anatomy."

8. i will never get over missing the barenaked ladies in concert when they played "taste of cleveland" and i was covering shifts at dairy queen for everyone who got to go. wah.

9. my husband is a total instrumental snob but not without merit. he played the violin since he was en utero and is a self-taught guitarist. i have learned a lot from him.

10. when i long for my childhood, i long especially for our christmas albums spun on a record player. there is something so wonderfully cozy about the crackle of nat king cole's voice streaming from the phonograph.

11. i know that tori amos' "little earthquakes" was not written as a cathartic shout-out to a super depressed overprivileged teenage girl, but when i would listen to the cassette on my walkman and cry night after night my junior year of high school, i felt otherwise.

12. my first concert was paula abdul - spellbound tour - 1991. i was totally spellbound.

13. i remember attending the following concerts: the eagles, counting crows, sting, jesse malin, lillith fair(x2), ben folds, blessid union of souls, janet jackson, guster (x2) they might be giants, jem, billy joel, dave matthews and tim reynolds, jason mraz (he drove a mazda to the concert!), hybrasil, audra mcdonald, james morrison, rockapella (seriously), antje duvekot (x2), christopher williams, the weepies, maeve, owen plant, cleveland symphony, bso, john mayer, ani difranco. there are others. what were they?

14. my fave cardancing song is "brandy." she was a fine girl.

15. stevie wonder is my fave musical artist. of all time. OF ALL TIME!

16. i confess to owning a hanson album. with "mmmbop," natch. i think i sold it. i did enjoy it.

17. there is something especially groovy about canadian female artists: k.d. lang, chantal kreviazul, avril...okay that is a stretch(?), sarah mclachlan.

18. i took irish step dance lessons for ten years. to this day, i can bang out several of the steps and the music is so much a part of my fibers that when i cannot listen to it whilst typing or my fingers start doing the steps according to the beats.

19. having children has pretty much guaranteed that i sing + dance every day of my life, which i love.

20. i am not the worst dancer i know, and i think i may be above average for a white girl. i am definitely the worst singer i know.

21. i don't have a video of our wedding, but i don't need one. i can still hear the 3 dear singer friends. their songs still ring loudly for me.

22. i sing my children all the songs that my parents sang to me and i hope my children will remember to sing them to their own children.

23. i am thankful to my father and his mother for sharing their rich appreciation for music with me.

24. i have seen rough video from my best friend lauren's missionary service in zambia, and she was constantly singing, singing everyday, there was reason for singing for every occasion and i am convinced that she experienced the kind of musical atmosphere that heaven will boast.

25. if i lose any capability, i'm hoping it will be sight or touch or maybe even hearing loss. i hope i'll still be able to sing in my old age. it will be loud and twice as bad as it ever was, but i won't be able to see anyone rolling their eyes or cupping their ears to care.