Tankerbell

Um, Mama?Mama's sleeping right now. Um, Dada? Yes? Which fairy from Fairytopia do you want to be? Um, how about... I'm going to be Illumina. Oh, Luna, huh? No, Daddy, ILLuMINa. Oh. I see. Yeah, so which fairy are you going to be? Oh, I'm going to be Tank. What, Daddy? Tink? No, we're not talking about Tinkerbell, we're talking about Barbie Fairytopia. Well, I'm still gonna be Tank. Tank? Yes, Tank. My fairy name is going to be Tank. Um, Daddy, why don't you just be the brownish-orangeish fairy. All right.

*** Purchased from total hipster Collective Clothing store in St. Elmo's. When every picture you draw is a hologrammic unicorn montage, a bag like this is made for you: a unicorn girl on the go.

Doing me no favors

Oh, Child, remember that time when I told you we were going to go look at "my friend's house" in two minutes? Well, it just so happens that that friend was only loosely a "friend."  She was more along the lines of....someone I met telephonically yesterday, someone who has never met our brand of hot mess in person before, and who was prospectively going to lease out her rental property to us if we showed up and appeared sane and hygienic and capable of not throwing fists through windows and plaster. So, upon the two minute forewarning of our departure to go house hunt, Child, you took it upon yourself to do what I can only imagine in your brain worked out to mean Getting Ready.

  Child, there is a movie called "The Royal Tenenbaums" in which an actor named Owen Wilson's character Eli Cash goes on a wild drug-induced bender and crashes, quite literally, a wedding.

When you came to me All Ready to go look at the real estate tonight, I saw Eli Cash. In the form of a pixie-haired girl.  Who was not crashing my wedding. But who was unwittingly kinda crashing something else.

It was too late to wash it all off so away we went as a merry trio: Hot Mess Mama, Tater Tot boy, and Butterfly Girl.

On the way home, Little Man fell in the driveway and busted his lip. So all in all, we were a sight for sore eyes and probably unfit to live anywhere besides a yurt, upon whose sides you could paint butterflies.

***

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Growing Pains

Baby Girl was complaining recently about some pains in her joints, I couldn't tell you the name of the joints, maybe I should consult the hip bone's connected to the...song. The poor girl seemed legitimately hurting as she pointed to where her little legs met her little hips and I gave her a little hip-noogie to dull the ache.

My brother used to get growing pains in his legs, my baby brother who stands 6 feet tall. I told Baby Girl that she might be getting growing pains, and why would the girl who has grown two clothes sizes in one school year stop growing now? Cruel fate this rapid growth of my babies. You feel me?

I had forgotten, though, how exciting the term "growing pains" is for someone who plans her next birthday party 11 months in advance.

So a couple days later the girl says, "Mom, maybe we should check and see if my Croc shoes fit now. Because you know I had that leg pain?"

Oh. My. Head.

Oh my head, girlfriend. In your own head, you just leapt from possibly having growing pains to definitely having grown and now wanting to try on new clothes to boot. The next day you came out wearing that disco dancer skirt you got for Christmas which then was decidedly too big and now, you know what? It looked a tad more fitting. Of course, you probably thought. You had the leg pains, so...obviously, Mom. Time for the upgrade.

I'm sorry, Baby Girl. It is truly an awful joyful thing to have you growing up so strong and so swift. You might feel the pain in your joints occasionally, but your mom feels a judo kick to the heart on the regular.