The fact that my paper on free speech was both 1/8 complete and 7/8 incomplete was giving me heartburn. I wanted to start it so that I could complete it. I hated to start it because it was so galactically far from completion.

I woke up this morning and read every webblog and online profile of everyone with whom I have ever attended school. I made some tea and organized my workspace, and then I sat and read a few Supreme Court cases. Then, I read them again. I put on a CD and feigned the need for inspiration. I read the Supreme Court cases and regretted the fact that the CD was both distracting me, and that the CD player was galactically far from my now immaculate workspace.

I called the Good Counselor. "Pop, I have a homework question."

The Good Counselor is handy when one has to write a paper on free speech, particularly in light of historic Supreme Court cases.

I explained my thesis and how I had to reword it, but that I didn't have the words quite for the rewording.

"What is the stare decisis?" he asked.

I looked at my workspace and it seemed a laboratory for a mad professor. I twirled in my swivel chair and sighed.

"Stare du-what?"