Loverpants and I were lying in bed last night. Possibly half nekkid. Talking about the past. Oh yes, it was just that sultry.

We counted back all the summers we had been together, where we traveled, what jobs we had held (or not held), where we had lived. We covered a lot of territory. At one point, Loverpants was recalling this one summer where I visited him in Boston (I didn't live here yet) and we stopped in front of the reflecting pool at Christian Science headquarters and I had a total meltdown. "There were some tears there," he said. Of course there were. Because he was TOTALLY going to break up with me that weekend I KNEW IT FOR SURE so why didn't he just PUT ME OUT OF MY MISERY and DO IT NOW?!?

The boy had no plans of breaking anything off that weekend. I mean, sure, after I moved here and wrote the book on How to Be the High-Maintenance Girlfriend Down the Street, well, yes, then he justifiably considered parting ways. But I lathered him in Twizzlers and kisses and nine years later, well, look where we are.

I guess the point, and not an elaborate one but just one that takes me a long time to make EVIDENTLY is that I'm so glad that when I cry these days, it's really for a good reason. Happy tears because Baby Girl started a sentence with "My mommy..." Sad tears because my uncle died. Angry tears because I'm not getting through to my husband about something sort of monumental. Like you know, don't leave the highchair tray in the sink too long 'cause when I turn on the faucet I instantly enter a wet T-shirt contest if you know what I mean....

Marking our fourth anniversary to me does not mean eradication of anxiety or insecurity. But I'm so glad to be where we are now in our relationship, to be in love and to be hopeful for four times four times four times four more anniversaries.

Love my Lovey Loverpants!

Reminds me of our family...