My granny has a gal pal who answers the phone, "This is the beauty!" Can you imagine? To have that sense of moxie!

I just answer the phone, "Hullo?" but I rarely answer the phone, let's be honest. When I'm in my 80s, who knows? Maybe I'll develop some telephonic pinache.

Here in my 30s, I am just trying to eat my vegetables, hit it hard at the gym, and get a good night's sleep. Two out of three ain't bad most weeks.

I'm no vain Lane, but I'm not a plain Jane either. I am still a Catholic schoolgirl in recovery, and to be honest some mornings I actually think my polyester triblend kickpleat skirt is waiting for me on a hanger in my closet. Then I awaken to the fact that I have to :GASP: pick out mah cloves!

When it comes to putting on mah face, it has to be quick and clean looking. Not that you asked for it, but I always love knowing what products people fancy. Here's some honesty as well as my beauty regimen.

Avant

Apres

Array o' Beauty

1. Josie Maran Natural Volume Lip Gloss in golden beige- this lip gloss feels as good as it looks. Non-tacky and yummy smelling, but not something obnoxiously Tinkerbell cotton candy-like. Know what I mean?

2. Josie Maran Natural Volume Argan Mascara - This is fine for everyday. Nothing dramatic. Best part is it washes off like nothin'.

3. Clinique High Lengths Mascara - If I can't find the above mascara, I use this one. It's excellent and is not clumpy at all.

4. fresh Sugar in Passion - My favorite tinted lip balm.

5. Amazing Cosmetics Concealer to Go - This is the world's greatest concealer. As you can observe, I have a touch of rosacea. This wee little tube gets the job done. Very pigmented so the tube will last you foreverrrr.

6. Josie Maran Beautiful Eyes - This eye shadow blends nicely. Nothing dramatic. Colors work well with my rosy/pale complexion and blue eyes.

7. and 8. are limited edition products by Mary Kay. I like the cooling bronzer - easy to apply and fake me out some high cheekbones.I love this blush to the depths. Just a hint of sparkle my cheeks.

9. Brushes by Mary Kay. Gots to have good tools to get the job done well.