10. Paint my hallway. The whiteness of the walls has gone from whispering at me to full-on screaming a la Charlotte Perkins Gilman at me. Lovey Loverpants wants a purpley gray. I want a buttery yellow. At this point, I don't care if Baby Girl goes all graffiti on them. Anything but white! 9. Hit the gym at least 3x/week. Thesis booty is a creepin', soon to be cascading if I don't make the gym my party place.

8. Send my Nana a new picture of the baby. My dad told me it's the only thing that brings her happiness. I feel terrible for delaying this happiness!!

7. Go to bed by 11p at the latest. My recent bedtimes have been OBSCENE. They should be rated something ominous to keep small children from learning about them.

6. Deep clean our bedroom. Moving the pile of dirty clothes to the hamper? Does not constitute deep cleaning

5. Finish reading the 3 books for pleasure I started before my thesis unhinged its proverbial jaw and swallowed my life anaconda-style whole.

4. Take some new books out of the 'bary for Baby Girl. I've been hesitating because I'm so bad about returning them. No 'scuses no mo.

3. Take Baby Girl to the aquarium. Need to go to library to get free passes. Again, no excuses!

2. Eat more salads. Which requires my fridge to contain more than one vegetable at a time.

1. Give this girl a tissue, a change of shirt, and buy this girl some pants: