Woman applies for new Tennessee driver's license and receives it twenty minutes later. I know. That sounds like some impossible headline from The Onion. Like when the Supreme Court said, "Same-sex Marriage? Big Whoop. Who cares?" That was a funny headline from the spoof site.

But I bluff you not. I actually departed work today to go obtain my state driver's license, which I should have done two years and two months ago but somehow didn't (see also: unpleasant chore avoidance). Instead I flashed my Massachusetts card with pride, long after I owned real estate there.

You can imagine my dread, having this long overdue task ahead of me to complete in the middle of the work week, on Sept. 11 no less, and then 20 minutes later I receive it. In fact, they were calling my number BEFORE I had the whole application filled out. The!!

So, to review:

• I didn't arrive first thing as I was supposed to.
• My MA driver's license was due to expire so something was guaranteed to go wrong in the next week.
• I had to go straight from work which means I had to take the motorino which means I was probably going to crash on my way to get my driver's license because my life is that ironic.
• It's the Department of Motor Vehicles for crying out loud.
• All the employees were totally courteous.
• I had all the right documentation, despite fact that I can't find anything of importance ever but still find the user's manual to the baby swing that we gave away 3 years ago.
• I got my driver's license in less time than it sometimes takes to buy post-it notes at Rite-Aid.
• TWENTY MINUTES, PLAYERS!

I believe this is proof that either the Cleveland Indians are going to win the World Series this year or Jesus' return is very imminent. Possibly both.