Oh hi.  This is me. Right here in my living room.  I'm doing that boob tube shuffle.  Another day of watching ELMO.  Another day of wishing he would come alive and talk in the third person with me about my favorite topics: crocuses, jewels, and whether or not other people like crocuses and whether or not people notice crocuses and whether or not people like jewels and whether or not people notice my jewels.

What?  Elmo CAN come alive?  WHERE IS HE?

Oh.  We have to take the train to see him.  With my new homegirl, Lady A.

And just before we get to the Elmo Show WHERE ELMO LIVES, we get to see his bus, WHICH ELMO DRIVES, with Lady A's parents, Sean and Isabel.

We also must practice our dance moves before we get to SEE ELMO.

It's okay if we totally freak out when the lights go off. Because, again, ELMO.  ELMO ALSO may be scared of the dark. ELMO, can be scared of the dark WITH us!

After an hour and fifteen minutes of ELMOTOWN, we take a break.  My mom snickers about all the suckers in the audience who are conned into buying ELMO balloons.

Look at them all.  A sea of suckers, my mom said.

Pay no attention to the ELMO balloon next to us.  ELMO doesn't know how ELMO got there.

Nope. I guess ELMO just wanted to come LIVE WITH US!