We should really call Candle Time "Let's fight over who gets to blow out the candle time." Or we should just call it what it was intended to be: our evening mini-worship time.

Don't get it twisted, brethren. We are not all joining hands in a circle and singing as the Whos of Whoville at Christmastide.

We are just trying to spend a few minutes with our children to quiet their spasmotic bodies and say a family prayer before they slumber on the lumber.

This is how it went tonight.

"Kids, we are going to have a special Candle Time tonight."

::Asks children to come to the living room three times. Has each child smell new candle that smells like cinnamon and candy apples. Attempts to play "Do You Hear What I Hear?" by Bing Crosby on laptop.

"Oh, Mommy, I see a Thomas the Train video on the computer!"

"Oh, watching Thomas and Toby on the computer!"

"Yeah, okay, guys, let's just focus on this song here. Don't get too close to the candle. Don't want to get burned."

::Stops song 30 seconds in::

"All right, let's go out to the kitchen where one of you will get to tear off one of the paper chains that you colored."

"Mommy, I don't want to tear this one off. This is my favorite one. I want to tear another one off."

"Oh, honey, well this one has the right number on it."

::Negotiates non-tear method of removing paper link from Advent chain::

"Okay, so this link says 'God with us...' What does it mean for God to be with us?"

"God is with us and thank you that Nana J is going to be okay."

"That's right, Tatum."

Amen.

***

Heating pad on her head. "This is what pharaoh wore." It was probably herbal scented, too!