Post-Pandemic Activities Where Dressing like a Giant Toddler Who Still Takes an Afternoon Nap Will Still Be Socially Acceptable
As we emerge from our temporary sweatpants society, the following activities will still command a dress code of Giant Toddler Who Should Not Miss the Afternoon Nap:
Recreation
Attending a Cuddle Party
Cosplaying at ComicCon
Participating in a potato sack race
Being a contestant on “Double Dare”
Going as Maggie Simpson to a Halloween Party
Attending a Silver Sneakers chair yoga class
Doing the walk of shame at 7 a.m. from a fraternity party
Embracing Furry culture
Professional
Managing a Croc Store
Performing in a Beastie Boys cover band
Riding on the “Bananas in Pajamas Live!” Tour Bus
Shooting an ad for the SnuggieTM
Tinkering in the NASCAR Pit
Rehearsing “Peter Pan” for the part of Michael Darling
Launching the Lookbook for YeezyTM Spring Line
Working the child birthday circuit as a Strawberry Shortcake impersonator
Spiritual
Believing yourself to have been reincarnated as a hashbrown
Personal
Being Pauly Shore
Recovering from pacemaker surgery
Heading to take an afternoon nap as a giant toddler